hero. Zero bullshit tolerance. Works as a computer tech and wielder
of Clue Bat. Sarah spends her Copious Free Time playing with computer
guts, watching way too much anime, reading, and playing way too
Likes: Fast computers, case mods with pretty lights, Virginia
Slims menthol 120's, sushi, her cats
Dislikes: Macs, beans, Fangirls, [PWDL], her cats
quite sure what Dude's real name is. Sarah went out with
him for a few years, and she's not even 100% certain. His
parents were surfers, so his birth certificate might well say
"Dude" on it. Decent fellow, but a few tiles short of a double-word
score, if you get our drift. Currently working for a small game
company in Dallas, on the dev team for a game entitled "Berry
Bear Bares It All."
Likes: Food, pr0n, games that don't require thinking, surfing
boss. Good man. Knows to stay the hell out of Sarah's way when
she is wielding sharp objects, live ammunition, or a soldering
Likes: Abandonware, programming, weird computers
Dislikes: Mrs. Eggntater's computer, his mother-in-law, Asshat
Liked: Picking on the employees of every retail establishment
she set foot in
Disliked: Everything else
Mrs. Eggntater's Computer
voltage. Extreme danger to life and limb. Do not feed or tease.
Likes: Electricity, the souls of the stupid
Dislikes: Power outages, dust
sweet little old lady who enjoys knitting, baking, and gibbing
the living shit out of unsuspecting teenagers at Quake. Her computer
would make any hardcore geek or gamer weep with joy and envy,
and lives in a handmade oak case with brass inlays and a leaded
glass window on the side.
Likes: Any game involving large guns and flying gibs, cons, Quake
Dislikes: Mrs. Eggntater, dumb teenage boys who think they are
TEH R0XX0R, FF9, the lame Christmas, birthday, and Mother's Day
presents her kids always give her
is an unusual character, in that it is not any one person, but
rather an anonymous stand-in for, well, People We Don't Like.
If you think it's you and this offends you, it probably is.
[PWDL] wants to be when it grows up. Meaner, nastier, and dumber
version of [PWDL]. Again, if you think it's you and this offends
you, it probably is.
A+ certified, Rob does not know a modem from a video card from
his ass from his elbow from a hole in the ground. Fortunately,
Rob no longer works for Eleet. His unique brand of...expertise
is currently being utilized by Southwestern Bell Internet tech
Likes: Warez (or would if he could figure out where to find them),
AOL, the Bonzi Buddy
all fangirls are Fangirl. If you have ever used the phrase "R+R
PLZ!!!!!!," or if half of any given blog post of yours contains
the "XD" smiley, or if you have ever defended your heinous Mary
Sue wankfic as an "alternate universe," or if you have ever ripped
off fanart for your pretentious blog layout or LiveJournal userpics
without the artist's express written permission, or if you have
ever gone on holy Jihad because someone pointed out the physical
impossibility of your crack-laden yaoi pairing, consider yourself
is Sarah's Mac counterpart at Eleet Computers, Inc. Aside from
the occasional good-natured trading of Macintrash-vs.-Wintendo
jokes, they get along pretty well. One of a rare few technicians
Sarah has not managed to scare away...mostly because Sarah knows
fuckall about Macs and needs someone around who can fix
Likes: Macs, OSX, Pepsi, any anime or game involving giant robots,
Dislikes: PCs, Microsoft, two-button mice
mom in the world. Even if she does use a Mac.
Likes: Painting, fixing up the house, Cowboy Bebop, Henry Rollins
Dislikes: Ignorance, stupidity, Biblethumpers, rap "music," Republicans
best dad in the world.
Death By Stupidity sauce, woodworking, jewelry casting, classic
cars, whitewater kayaking, gardening, the ongoing quest to duplicate
James Coney Island's chili recipe, The Man Show (yes, he knows
it's making fun of its target audience; that's why he likes
it so much)
Dislikes: Squirrels in the bird feeder, soggy campsites, wimpy
elder cat. Generally well-behaved and extremely laid-back, though
he has an annoying tendency to give Sarah the old Butt
Hello at the worst possible times. Will not claw furniture,
but will destroy a scratching post in less than a week.
Likes: Tuna water on his food, catnip, scratching posts, laps,
Dislikes: Claw clippers, canned air, milk
younger cat. Also answers to Boogerhead, Demon Seed, Shred-O-Matic,
and OW GODDAMMIT GET OFF MY LEG. Do not let the adorable little
face or the little pink nose or the little pink toes fool you.
This cat would just as soon rip your heart out and eat it as look
Likes: Tuna fish, wet food, toys that rattle, playing fetch, mouse
heads, giving kisses, YOUR ETERNAL SOUL
Dislikes: Baths, car rides, belly rubs, dogs, other cats, birds,
humans, holy water
shar-pei puppy. Paper-trained at six weeks, learned to use the
dog door at eight weeks. Will pick up her toys and put them in
her bed when she's done playing with them. Does not yet realize
that her claws and teeth are razor-sharp. Mysteriously acquires
a new toy every time Dad comes back from Wal-Mart.
Rosie is the successor to Chief Thundercloud, the best dog ever.
Likes: Chewing on Dad, chewing on Sarah, chewing on anything that
doesn't chew her first, chewing on anything that does chew
her first, liver snaps, toys that squeak
Dislikes: Not being the center of attention
Barony of Sapphire Springs
of Sapphire Springs, a chapter of an as-yet unnamed LARP. Unlike
some past barons, Roland is in possession of a brain and a heart.
Unfortunately, he lacks the necessary spine, guts, and balls
to go with them.
Likes: Quests that
require thinking, giving awards to folks that deserve them
Fang, lacking the guts to deal with same, newbies that refuse
to wear garb
admits he's mostly in the LARP because beating people up with
a padded stick is fun, but doesn't mind the roleplaying part
of it at all.
Likes: Big weapons,
leatherworking, chicks who play barbarians with huge 2-point
battle tactics, people who won't take their friggin' shots
opposite of his friend Talon--he prefers the roleplaying to
the beating. Which is why he plays a wizard.
Likes: Harry Potter,
Arts & Sciences tournaments, writing quests
who fuck up his quests by killing the NPCs, barbarians
monarch of the Kingdom of the Emerald Sea, which spans several
LARP chapters in the area. Recently crowned and just now figuring
out that his predecessor seriously screwed a bunch of things
up. For one, the dude knighted some real jackasses.
Likes: Visiting the
various groups of the Kingdom, coordinating feasts, knighting
folks that deserve it
stick jocks, and griefers
of the Circle of Knights. Very picky weapon inspector. Takes
zero bullshit from anyone, regardless of number of knight belts.
Likes: Courtesy padding,
well-constructed arrows, tournaments
weapons, people who attempt to sneak same past him
yet knighted, and will probably stay that way for a long time
to come. Notorious for accidentally-on-purpose whacking newbies
in the 'nads and sneaking the heaviest, nastiest illegal weapons
ever onto the field.
Likes: Really heavy
weapons, intimidating newbies, intimidating Roland, shield-bashing
Dislikes: The rule
that forbids shield-bashing, RP geeks, Ayame
Dame Corina Montaigne
exactly this bitch got knighted, we may never know. She doesn't
do a damn thing but stand around and look pretty, she's flunked
her Reeve's test four times, and although she's played a healer
for three years, she still can't remember the words
to the spells without carrying a rulebook onto the field with
her. Maybe she boinked the previous King. We do, at least, know
that although she and Atlus are an item, she has run off to
bang Thorne on at least one occasion. Yuk.
Rumor has it she
is a refugee from the local Vampire LARP, which kicked her out
for her godmoding and bitching.
garb, impractical footwear, fangs, waterproof mascara
that show up dressed better than her, breaking her nails, smearing
Sir Sir Sir Atlus
that is not a typo, this prick actually got knighted three times.
Atlus is of the worst order of asshat: the kind that can charm
and bullshit his way out of any accusation of asshattery. Fortunately,
there are a few people in high places that ain't buying it.
Likes: His perfect
hair, his perfect tan, his perfect, perfect teeth, Corina
life forms (read: anyone who does not wear the Crimson Fang
device), Clayton, Jonas
Sarah. Plays an assassin, and plays it to the hilt. Does not
use any of the abilities allowed to her class and level except
poison weapons, throwing daggers, and the occasional Touch of
Death. Has returned to the LARP after a lengthy absence to help
rid it of certain arsehelms.
Likes: Good sturdy
climbing trees, projectile weapons, short swords, shadowy hiding
light, noisy garb and equipment, treeless plains, d00dz, griefers,
drama junkies, stick jocks, Crimson Fang